My life may appear to be perfect- Greg and I married for almost 6 years, cute little Kyla with another baby on the way. We have a new house, new car, jobs, we're able to buy what we want. We work hard for all of this, and I am thankful.
But on the inside, my thoughts are not so perfect. I worry about this baby inside of me. (I found out at 16 weeks when I miscarried in 2008)
I don't love my job... some things drive me absolutely crazy.
And I think my dad is an idiot, either that, or he has a mental problem. I don't say that in a funny way...
One might leave their spouse because of an affair, or maybe because their spouse drinks too much and beats them. But, to leave your wife because she is "controlling" and you haven't been getting your way. Stupid. Fixable. Frustrating.
I love to be a leader, in control. And I can't do anything about my parents marriage except support and pray. It's so hard. I have a lot of anxiety because of it. I don't want to separate my extended families. I don't want to explain to my kids one day why gamma and papa don't live together. This affects me BIG time and I HATE it.
My dad thinks everything will be just fine this way. "We're still a family."
It's NOT the same, it could never be the same. What is fine about your parents not being married?
I've been lied to for a long time, maybe indirectly. Family memories and trips, holidays and events. I've had a lot of fun with my parents and family. But, apparently, my dad was hating his life. And looking back on the last year, he really wasn't "there." He fell asleep at our family Christmas, now I know it's probably because he was dreaming of something else.
I'm just so mad. (On the inside)
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