Bad Day

I'm having a bad day. These have come and gone over the time my parents have been separated. I've really been doing well for quite awhile, but last night I had trouble sleeping and therefore I had too much time to think.
I am so incredibly disappointed in my dad right now. I imagine it's like the disappointment I caused my parents when I was a teenager. Except I never did anything this bad. (As if one sin is greater than another, but you know what I mean.)

I give respect where deserved- and there are alot of people in my life that deserve respect. I used to have a lot of respect for my dad- he works hard, has fun, did what was right, committed everything to family, sacrificed a lot for christian school and church.
My respect for him is gone. (Thanks to his continued adultery.)
Maybe it'll come back some day. Maybe if he deserves it. But, he has to earn it. It took probably 20 years to win my full respect the first time.

The Bible says to honor your father (and mother)... I don't know what to say about that. I have a lot of questions for God about that. A lot of "what ifs". I think God understands that I am struggling with this right now...


I AM also thinking about some happy things today- I am 18 week pregnant. Almost half way! In another week or two we will find out if it is a boy or girl! I think it's a boy. I've always just had a feeling. I would not be disappointed if it's another girl though. How convenient if we could re-use all of Kyla's clothes and things!

This pregnancy seems easy (other than the sickness in the beginning.) But, it's more relaxing when you know what to expect and when I keep busy with Kyla. The time goes fast and I'm in no real hurry.

I'm still waiting (not so patiently) for Spring and Summer. We won't have much of a vacation since I need to save up for maternity leave, but we're looking forward to some weekend trips and fun outdoor adventures. We even enjoy our walks to the park. We're hoping to build Kyla a swing set in our backyard too, and maybe get a little pool. (Maybe I can keep dreaming since everything costs so much money... but we'll see :)

I hope you all continue to pray for us. I still feel like we need a lot of prayers! This still sucks.