2015 in Review

I'm not much of a blogger any more, but a year-end note is always good :)

 

2015 was a fairly exciting year for us (well, for me at least!)....
This spring, while Kyla was finishing a great year of Kindergarten, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in nursing. I didn't change job positions, but it's something I've always wanted to do, and it feels good to be finished. It might open opportunities in the future, but for now, I am still an RN for the Sanford Cardiologists in Sioux Falls and I can say that I truly enjoy my position.

At the beginning of the summer, we were able to upgrade our camper to a 28-foot travel trailer. Nothing huge or fancy, but an awesome upgrade from our little pop-up camper! We enjoyed camping to the max this summer- I believe we were gone at least 10 weekends. The kids had a blast with every adventure to State and County parks in the area. We were able to do lots of hiking, rock collecting, fishing, sandcastle building, and fire roasting. I am already home sick for the camper and cannot wait for summer to come again.

We had a few other little trips this summer- to Omaha and Billings for weddings with Greg's families. I believe Greg and I went to six weddings this summer (one of which I was a bridesmaid!) I also got to take two little weekend trips with friends to Des Moines and Omaha. Busy, busy, but so much fun!
Kyla also played softball this summer with the Sioux Empire Fast Pitch association. She was a good little hitter and had fun, but says she might try soccer next summer.
Nolan spent the entire summer outside (at least as much as we'd let him!) We spent our days off work at parks, swimming pools, the zoo, or just in our own backyard. He cannot wait to join any type of sports team in the future!

Greg and I celebrated our 10-year anniversary on June 24 in Vegas. We simply wanted to go somewhere we'd never been, so Vegas it was! We walked around, saw the sites, ate delicious food, rode rides, roasted in the heat, saw a show and sat by the pool. We always love getting away together and it was a perfect way to celebrate. Hard to believe that we've been married this long already, but I truly wouldn't have it any other way (sorry to get all mushy, but I love my husband... a lot, a lot!! :)

Kyla (6 years old) started first grade at Christian Center Elementary and Nolan (4 years old) attends the daycare there. We are grateful for this small school and the kids love it.
In October, I was able to celebrate my big 3-0 birthday with family and friends. I've promised myself not to be ashamed of my age, but to celebrate and bring it on! So we did- supper and a limo with my favorite people. We had fun!

Winter has definitely arrived here in Sioux Falls as we approach the end of the year. We do have plans to go to Montana before Christmas and spend some time with Greg's parents and grandparents. (Hopefully the snow allows us to travel!) Greg continues to work for the flight team at Sanford, so he has some shifts to work over the holidays when we get back.

So... there's our year in short. From our family to yours- we wish you a very merry Christmas and a blessed year to come. Keep in touch, we love you all!

Give

I definitely have a little seasonal depression.  It might be the colder weather, it might be the impending holidays...  I haven't exercised in a month, my house is messy, and my motivation is limited. 
I am a people-pleaser, and I can't help but wonder if that is why I struggle a little.  If someone else is stressed, it stresses me.  I want everything to be perfect for everyone at Christmas.  Unfortunately, life isn't perfect, but yet, I've always been a "cup half-full" person.  So, let's look at the positives!

Today, my cup feels quite full.  Greg and I were able to serve at the Banquet this morning (a local food-kitchen-type ministry).  I left feeling blessed, and my heart was a little lighter.  Afterwards, I did some Christmas shopping at locally-owned businesses.  It felt good to buy for others while supporting others.  I also visited my mom today, helping her with some minor things, and I talked to my dad on the phone.  Lastly, I spent the evening with my kiddos.

I don't list all these things looking for a pat on the back, but rather a reminder that "giving" can come in many different forms: service, support, time, caring.  And the true blessing of giving is the feeling you are left with: a mixture of satisfaction, happiness and humbleness.  As the chaos of Christmas parties, programs, and presents begin, I am so grateful to be able to do just this: Give.

Merry Christmas 2014

I could probably copy our Christmas letters from the last few years, and only note minimum changes, but no news is good news, right?


 

 

Our kids are still cute, smart, and wildly entertaining!  Kyla is 5 and she started Kindergarten at Christian Center Elementary.  She goes all day, every day, and is doing well.  When Nolan is not home with Greg or myself, he goes to "big boy daycare" at Christian Center (2-3 days a week).  He's 3 years old and mastered potty training this summer, so that's exciting.  :)
Of course, the kids are naughty sometimes, and fight like siblings, but they do play well, and love each other too.

 

Greg is still working night shifts for Sanford Flight Team.  I am still working for Sanford Cardiologists.  I am still working on my BSN degree online.  We still live in SW Sioux Falls.  (Nothing exciting there, but that's ok!)

The little Mason Dog is 7 years old now.  He is lazy as ever, but we love that cute bug-eyed face!!

 

We've had a couple road trips this year- to Montana, Pella, and Minneapolis, and enjoyed a few camping trips in our old little pop-up trailer.  We honestly spend a lot of time at home, or checking out the different activities that Sioux Falls has to offer, and we have a lot of fun!  We've been blessed with so many wonderful things in life and are so grateful.

 

We wish everyone a very Merry Christmas with lots of love!
Greg, Melissa, Kyla & Nolan VanDenBerg

From death to Life

I went to a funeral today. My lovely sister in law, Roxy, lost her grandpa this week. They have a very sweet family and oh, how hard it is to say goodbye!

But, in a way, I love funerals. I love burials and cemetaries. I do not enjoy death, but I can appreciate it. And it's rewarding to hear how a person is honored after life is gone. 

Funerals are a promising reminder that we are sent to this earth, for just a short time. We are sent here by God to do his work, and when the time comes, he takes us to be with him forever. 

I hate that death is so hard and feels so permanent. I miss the people I once had the honor of knowing and speaking with but I love the promise of what they are experiencing now!

From Ephesians 2-

6 God raised us from death to life with Christ Jesus, and he has given us a place beside Christ in heaven. 7 God did this so that in the future world he could show how truly good and kind he is to us because of what Christ Jesus has done. 8 You were saved by faith in God, who treats us much better than we deserve. This is God’s gift to you, and not anything you have done on your own. 9 It isn’t something you have earned, so there is nothing you can brag about. 10 God planned for us to do good things and to live as he has always wanted us to live. That’s why he sent Christ to make us what we are.

Health and Happiness

One year ago, a weight loss challenge got presented to me at work. I knew I had some pounds to lose and I wasn't feeling to great about myself. I weighed 191 pounds. By watching my calories, I lost 6 pounds the first month. At the beginning of February, my sister-in-law convinced me to join Beachbody. By doing one of their workout videos and enjoying a Shakeology drink everyday, I quickly lost 6 more pounds.
Twelve pounds down in 12 weeks, and I didn't win the work challenge, but I continued my journey anyway...
Summertime came and my swimsuit was too big!! I had to buy new clothes. I started feeling so much better about myself- less depressed, more energy, more confidence. I was becoming a better person for my husband, my kids, and ultimately- myself. We did a lot of walking, biking and hiking over the summer.
Within 7-8 months, I had lost 30 pounds (16% of my body weight!).
I continue to workout a few times per week and drink Shakeology nearly everyday. I LOVE what Beachbody has to offer and have found my soul mate workout (TurboFire!) It's been a true lifestyle change for me. Greg and I enjoy healthy cooking. We avoid most processed junk. We definitely eat our veggies and lean meat. Now, don't get me wrong... sometimes I eat too many cookies and I love some fried onion rings every once in awhile, but ultimately we are teaching our kids how to live healthy lives: both through food and exercise. It's been a great journey.
I've gained 3-4 pounds back over the last few months (darn holidays) and now have a Carnival Caribbean Cruise to look forward to in February. My hope is to be under 160lb by then and perhaps break out an old bikini!!

The elf is still on the move!

Mark's got a hot date tonight! 

Last night he snuck into the cookie jar and snatched an oreo!

2013

I thought I should do a year-end Christmas-type letter...

Me... I am going on 4 years as an RN at Sanford Cardiovascular Institute. I work about 36 hours per week and love my patients! I have a lot of independence and like what I do. Some other highlights of the year include getting the braces off my teeth and losing weight. I joined the Beachbody company and through exercise and a protein shake, I've lost 30 pounds and kept it off :)  I also have been going to an on-line school pursuing my Bachelor's degree in nursing. I live a crazy life, and I'm always running behind, but it is what it is.
Greg... He has been with the flight team at Sanford for over two years now, working as a paramedic on both the helicopter and airplane. He's very humble, but I think he's pretty awesome and I am proud of him every day. With our crazy family life, he decided to take on all night shifts, so he can pick up Kyla from school every day. He works 3 twelve hour shifts per week. He has been able to pick up a lot of my slack since I've started school- housework and cooking. He's great! I also got him sucked into Beachbody and he's lost some weight through exercise and through us cooking more healthy as a family.
Kyla... She started Pre-K this year at Christian Center Elementary and she participates in their before-school daycare a couple days per week. She is really smart and has enjoyed the challenges. She went through a shy phase this year, but is starting to become more social lately. Either way, she has always made friends easily with kids her age and is a pretty well-behaved 4-year-old. At home, she enjoys doing crafts, playing outside, and going for bike rides to the park. I almost forgot!!-- she learned to ride bike without training wheels this summer- right before she turned 4.
Nolan... He's two. Need I say more? ;) I worried about his speech earlier this year, as he hardly spoke any words. But, this summer those worries came to an end. He is a chatter box speaking in full sentences now. I think he's a typical little boy... likes to play rough and doesn't like to sleep in his own bed... He goes to an in-home daycare three days per week and has started to participate in the preschool curriculum and projects (he's so proud of his projects!). He also loves the outdoors, even when it's freezing cold.
Mason... The Mason Dog turned 6 this year. His days consist of being tortured by Nolan and sleeping. He's such a good little dog. He misses going for walks since it has been so blasted cold lately. His nights consist of cuddling in Kyla's bed.

We enjoyed a few camping trips this summer in our little pop-up. We really enjoy going to Lake Pahoja and Newton Hills. Also, we took a family vacation to Des Moines, Pella and Omaha this summer. We went to the Iowa State Fair (which me and Greg have always enjoyed), we spent some time in Pella and then went to the Omaha Zoo too.
We made a couple more trips to Pella unexpectedly. We were able to say our "good-byes" to our dear friend Nick as he lay in the hospital, then we went back a few days later for his funeral. What a blessing it was that we were able to have dinner with him just a few weeks earlier during our vacation. And what a blessing to have great friends surrounding us!
For Christmas this year, we're excited to drive to Montana to spend a week with all of Greg's family. Hoping the kids behave for the long car ride, but it will be so great to spend time there.
Greg and I are also excited for our cruise coming up in late February. We're going with our good friends, Paul and Emily. With the frigid cold temps outside, it can't come soon enough!

That pretty much sums up our year. We are hoping everyone has a wonderful and blessed Christmas and New Year!

Mark

Mark is enjoying some hot chocolate and marshmallows tonight. Ready to see the kids in the morning!

Press On

As my blogging mood has changed from being in a depressive state to bringing laughter and cheer from my kids, I thought about deleting some of my old posts.  I got a lot of ridicule for my past posts, with, perhaps some of the most memorable words being "delete your blog and buy a notebook."
But, I didn't.
If something told me to blog, I did.  It felt good at the time for some of my feelings to be out in the open, when I had no one to really listen.
Now I am being showed why I kept typing away through all my troubles and turmoil.  I have received private messages that say:
"just read your blog! I love it! you completely open your feelings and talk about your struggles...thank you for sharing...especially the 2010 picture one...makes me think about my faith, my family, and friends"
and "read part of your blog about misery... I feel that is exactly what I'm going through right now. Made me feel better knowing that other people have those feelings and are doing so great later. thank you for your honesty."

It brings tears to my eyes when I consider the struggles I had, and some that I still do have.  Obviously, my parent's divorce is one of the major factors, as well as the death of two good friends, and other tragic losses of nearby communities.
It also moves me that I might be helping others through their struggles, or at least showing them that it will be okay in the end.
The circumstance can vary, but, depression happens.  Sometimes acutely, sometimes chronically. All I have to say is: do whatcha gotta do to (healthily) get through it.

This brings me to one of my favorite bible verses:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."   
Philippians 3:12-14

Good night Mark

Mark is ready for bed and so am I!

The adventures of Mark

The kids are still having fun with Mark (our elf). Even Nolan is getting into it now... "Where MARK?" All of our family and friends have been asking Kyla about it, and she's usually not afraid to explain who he is and what his job is and where he's hiding that day.

Yesterday morning, he delivered a gift to both Kyla and Nolan because they've been being good and even stayed in their bed all night! He picked these bags up from the North Pole.

Here's what was in their gift bags... a writing tablet and a foam letter.

 

And this is what happens when a guy gets involved with the Elf on a Shelf. Greg build him a hang glider last night!

Greg and I might be having as much fun as the kids  ;)

Mark

I was all excited about "elf on a shelf". It's fun, creative, and magical!

While my kids were out to a movie with my mom, I planted the elf and his book on top of our TV stand. The kids got home and after a couple hours passed, no one noticed. So, finally I said "where'd that elf and book come from?!!" Kyla asked if I bought it, I said "No." (I lied).
We read the book, and as instructed, Kyla gave him a name-- "Mark." I don't know where she got that name from, but our Elf's name is Mark.
We continued to read, and when we got to the part about he Elf being able to fly to the North Pole she started crying. I was confused. Then she said, "if we touch him, he comes to life??!!"
She slightly miss understood some of the story, but it dawned on me that she had visions of this creepy little elf wandering around our house. My sister put it best, "like a Christmas version of Chucky."  Hahaha!
I reassured Kyla that he only can move when everyone is sleeping. Then I reiterated that all kids have to be good, because "Mark" reports back to the North Pole every night to tell Santa if you've been naught or nice.
Then came a bazillion questions, like how he got in the house, how he gets to the North Pole, how he can see us when we're in the kitchen, how he can talk to Santa, why he's so small, how he makes the toys...
I think she likes Mark after all. Today, he hid in the ceiling fan and we didn't experience any tears.
As for Nolan, I don't think he gives a hoot about a stupid elf in our house!
Click here for a video of Kyla discussing the elf!

The Dreaded Question

Tonight, the question was asked. The question that I knew would come from my daughter, but I have been dreading for nearly three years.

"If Gramma is your mom and Papa is your dad, then why don't they live together?"
The question came out of no where, but the answer came easy, "They used to be married, but now they're not."
And then came an, almost more complicated, question, "And now Papa is married to Jean?"
I wasn't going to lie,"Papa and Jean are not married."
"Then why do they live together?"
"Because sometimes people do things, even if it doesn't make God happy. But, we just need to pray about it."
"We pray for them to get married?"
I thought for just a second, then said.... "Yes, I think that would make God and mommy happy."

10,000 Reasons

I've never minded going to church. I've always loved singing the songs, and visiting with other people. But, as a child, I always wondered when the preacher would start making sense. I would get bored and my mind would wander... Sometimes my mind still does wander, but God's word makes more and more sense to me all the time.
Our Pastor, at Fist CRC in Sioux Falls, has been preaching on the 10 Commandments for the last several weeks. It's actually been really exciting for me. I was taught the 10 Commandments early in life- mostly being told to memorize them and their simple meanings, but I don't know if I've ever studied them deeper.
This morning the sermon was about the 9th Commandment- "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor" (Exodus 20:16).
Why is it so satisfying to the human race to talk about each other? I am totally guilty of the "did-you-hears" and the "did-you-knows". I understand that a person may be genuinely concerned, but there is a fine line between concern and gossip. I need to work on avoiding gossip, judgment and labeling people-- don't we all need to work on this?

I also want to share a song that was sung after a baby's baptism this morning. Songs almost always have an impact on me. Play me any song, and I have a memory connected to it. This song brings me back to the weekend that our friend, Nick, was living his last hours on this earth--

 

As I sat in the pew, a tear trickled down my face, and I was reminded- that despite all the evil and sadness in this world, that even though friends may die, families may break, and communities get hurt- there are so many reasons to keep living, to keep trusting God, and to stay strong in faith. Why give up?

Sleeping beauties

Tonight, we cuddled in Kyla's bed and read books as Greg got called into work. Both kids insisted that they needed a slumber party and wanted to sleep together. Typically, I would answer with a simple "no" and take Nolan upstairs after reading.
But... what's the harm? It's a Friday night, it was fairly early, and why not let them do something special?
I can't believe they actually fell asleep in a timely manner. It was so cute!

The gift of time

It's been awhile since I've blogged, but I think I'm ready to get back into it. At least once in a while, anyway.
With the loss of another friend this month, my mind has been crazy. When you're in your 20s, you might be attending the funerals of your grandparents, old family friends, maybe aunts or uncles. You shouldn't be going to your friends' funerals.

I've been thinking about the "busy-ness" of life. I am never bored. I keep moving, unless I'm sleeping. I'm always in a hurry. I am always running late. Never enough time in a day...
I want to share a piece from my devotions last night. A refreshing reminder to slow down and enjoy the moments with my kids, husband, and others I love...

"Time is more than something to be spent. When a portion of time in our life is gone, it can never be retrieved. It's gone forever. One of the greatest gifts we can ever give another person is the gift of our time, whether it be to a family member, friend, or stranger."

Live... as wise, making the most of every opportunity. Eph 5:16

So- what did I do today? Got up early, hauled the kids out of bed and took them to Rock Valley (40 minute drive) to see my Grandma VV. Not everyone has grandparents, but I am blessed that three of my four grandparents are still living, are in good health, and are just a short drive away.
My kids call my Grandma VV "Oma" (a dutch word for Grandmother). We went out for breakfast with Oma and stopped at some consignment stores. We all had a great time, my kids got spoiled with some little gifts, and my heart feels satisfied knowing that I gave the gift of time to someone who loves me so very much.

We never know when our time will come to an end. So, don't waste it. Give it freely. Enjoy the small things and the special moments.

Back in 2010

There are so many things to say about this picture. You may start with the obvious-- my parents are married. Little Kyla is only one year old. Some of us are heavier, some are thinner...

This picture was taken two years ago. November 2010. It is in the basement of my house. Greg and I had just bought this house the month prior, having moved from Pella. I wanted to be closer to my family. To teach Kyla what a normal family was like-- Spending time together on the weekends, getting spoiled by grandparents, being home for the holidays...
My friend, Tina, took this picture. She was the one person I knew who would drop everything on a Sunday afternoon to do us a favor. And, no doubt, she could get Kyla to smile. She died in February...
I must have just been pregnant with Nolan here, but didn't know it yet...
This picture was hanging in everyone's kitchen (Merry Christmas (from the happy, smiling Walenburgs)) when my dad walked out on my mom. It never did surprise me that he left. What shocked me is that he never went back.
I am not suprised either, that my mom has changed. What shocks me is that she is no longer the person that she was in this picture.

This is the last picture that I will have of my family, and it saddens me that Nolan (technically) isn't in it.
Although one might hate this picture, as a reminder of how things have turned out, it means a lot to me. The memories.
We had a lot of fun- games, dinner nights, family trips, pictures, jokes.
We've all been forced to move on, to suck it up and make the best of a crappy situation. And, so we do. But, I think of this often... how things were... in 2010.

Bethlehem

My friend, Tina spoke to me. Not in a creepy "I hear voices" sort of way, but she left me something, which I received nearly 3 months after she died. A couple weeks ago, Tina's mom (Lori) gave me this paper bag. My name is written clearly (in Tina's handwriting). I opened the bag and Lori explained that it is a nativity scene carved from wood in Bethlehem. Tina bought it for me in Bethlehem when she was there with her family. Lori said "it's just something small." But, to me, it's one of the hugest gifts anyone ever gave me. I sobbed.
Not sure if she purchased one for anyone else, and not sure why she'd get this for me. Maybe it's because of the faith we shared. We grew up in the same Christian school and Christian Reformed Church. We talked about our church lives on occasion, and have attended each other's churches recently. When you grow up "CRC" there are just things you understand about your fellow Christian/church member, and Tina and I were open to talk about God's plans and works around us.
...Tina was in Bethlehem, just a few weeks before she died... The place in which Jesus was born. The place in which continual forgiveness of sins originated. That is so amazing.
The nativity scene seems "Christmasy" at first, but really, why not be reminded throughout the year that God sent his son for everyone, to later die for our sins?
Lately I'm feeling a bit distressed. I try to be a good person, and I strive to stay positive in everything. But, life is tough. Sometimes I seem to wonder: if God is present to make our lives great, why does he allow such misery? Maybe I'm just letting the misery get to me. (side note- I looked up the definition of misery: "unhappy or very uncomfortable, depressed") Yep... that's me (not all the time, but sometimes.)
Tina was a wonderful Christian. You could see it in her smile. Positive... she was so positive. If everyone were like Tina, I swear the world would be nearly perfect... never on time, but happy. :)
I look upon this little wooden ornament and am not only reminded to thank God for sending Jesus to earth, but to also thank Him for sending Tina.
When I die, I hope people say half the nice things they had to say about Tina. Therefore, I shall not let the misery of life get the best of me. I will stay positive, non-judgemental, and over-all happy! I pray that also for anyone else struggling with the stresses of life.
Man, I miss Tina. I wish she were here to cheer me through my struggles and goals... and for so, so many other things.

Life is Good

I swore off blogging about an hour ago, but I find that these are the times I need it most. It's like a free therapy session (because trust me, therapy is kinda expensive, I've been there!) Life is a roller coaster, although, over all, my life has been good. My parents did get divorced. I lost one of my best friends. I did fall and break my wrist, and then badly sprain my ankle. There are some new stressors at my job. AND Nolan injured his poor little wrist. (We have a few medical bills to catch up on.) When you're in a down mood, there's lots of bad things that come to mind. I could go on and on. Mainly what I want to say today is, divorce sucks. All sides of it suck. Although, I really only know the "child of divorce" side. It causes such a huge strain on everyone. It doesn't matter who did what wrong, and who is doing what now. Emotions come and go and come again. But, my life IS good- because I have a wonderful Lord, an amazing husband, beautiful kids, and a support system. Just looking up, I realize I bought a metal decor item to put in my kitchen today. "Life is Good." Coincidence? Maybe, and what an appropriate reminder.

Mother's Day

I had my mom and family over for supper tonight to celebrate Mother's Day. There was this moment in the back yard this evening, in which we were playing yard games, all having a good time, and I thought "hmm, this is like a normal family." Then I realized that my mom's boyfriend and his daughter were hanging out with us, and my dad was not there, but was probably celebrating somewhere else with his live-in girlfriend. But, then again, what is a normal family? Ha.