10,000 Reasons

I've never minded going to church. I've always loved singing the songs, and visiting with other people. But, as a child, I always wondered when the preacher would start making sense. I would get bored and my mind would wander... Sometimes my mind still does wander, but God's word makes more and more sense to me all the time.
Our Pastor, at Fist CRC in Sioux Falls, has been preaching on the 10 Commandments for the last several weeks. It's actually been really exciting for me. I was taught the 10 Commandments early in life- mostly being told to memorize them and their simple meanings, but I don't know if I've ever studied them deeper.
This morning the sermon was about the 9th Commandment- "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor" (Exodus 20:16).
Why is it so satisfying to the human race to talk about each other? I am totally guilty of the "did-you-hears" and the "did-you-knows". I understand that a person may be genuinely concerned, but there is a fine line between concern and gossip. I need to work on avoiding gossip, judgment and labeling people-- don't we all need to work on this?

I also want to share a song that was sung after a baby's baptism this morning. Songs almost always have an impact on me. Play me any song, and I have a memory connected to it. This song brings me back to the weekend that our friend, Nick, was living his last hours on this earth--

 

As I sat in the pew, a tear trickled down my face, and I was reminded- that despite all the evil and sadness in this world, that even though friends may die, families may break, and communities get hurt- there are so many reasons to keep living, to keep trusting God, and to stay strong in faith. Why give up?

Sleeping beauties

Tonight, we cuddled in Kyla's bed and read books as Greg got called into work. Both kids insisted that they needed a slumber party and wanted to sleep together. Typically, I would answer with a simple "no" and take Nolan upstairs after reading.
But... what's the harm? It's a Friday night, it was fairly early, and why not let them do something special?
I can't believe they actually fell asleep in a timely manner. It was so cute!

The gift of time

It's been awhile since I've blogged, but I think I'm ready to get back into it. At least once in a while, anyway.
With the loss of another friend this month, my mind has been crazy. When you're in your 20s, you might be attending the funerals of your grandparents, old family friends, maybe aunts or uncles. You shouldn't be going to your friends' funerals.

I've been thinking about the "busy-ness" of life. I am never bored. I keep moving, unless I'm sleeping. I'm always in a hurry. I am always running late. Never enough time in a day...
I want to share a piece from my devotions last night. A refreshing reminder to slow down and enjoy the moments with my kids, husband, and others I love...

"Time is more than something to be spent. When a portion of time in our life is gone, it can never be retrieved. It's gone forever. One of the greatest gifts we can ever give another person is the gift of our time, whether it be to a family member, friend, or stranger."

Live... as wise, making the most of every opportunity. Eph 5:16

So- what did I do today? Got up early, hauled the kids out of bed and took them to Rock Valley (40 minute drive) to see my Grandma VV. Not everyone has grandparents, but I am blessed that three of my four grandparents are still living, are in good health, and are just a short drive away.
My kids call my Grandma VV "Oma" (a dutch word for Grandmother). We went out for breakfast with Oma and stopped at some consignment stores. We all had a great time, my kids got spoiled with some little gifts, and my heart feels satisfied knowing that I gave the gift of time to someone who loves me so very much.

We never know when our time will come to an end. So, don't waste it. Give it freely. Enjoy the small things and the special moments.

Back in 2010

There are so many things to say about this picture. You may start with the obvious-- my parents are married. Little Kyla is only one year old. Some of us are heavier, some are thinner...

This picture was taken two years ago. November 2010. It is in the basement of my house. Greg and I had just bought this house the month prior, having moved from Pella. I wanted to be closer to my family. To teach Kyla what a normal family was like-- Spending time together on the weekends, getting spoiled by grandparents, being home for the holidays...
My friend, Tina, took this picture. She was the one person I knew who would drop everything on a Sunday afternoon to do us a favor. And, no doubt, she could get Kyla to smile. She died in February...
I must have just been pregnant with Nolan here, but didn't know it yet...
This picture was hanging in everyone's kitchen (Merry Christmas (from the happy, smiling Walenburgs)) when my dad walked out on my mom. It never did surprise me that he left. What shocked me is that he never went back.
I am not suprised either, that my mom has changed. What shocks me is that she is no longer the person that she was in this picture.

This is the last picture that I will have of my family, and it saddens me that Nolan (technically) isn't in it.
Although one might hate this picture, as a reminder of how things have turned out, it means a lot to me. The memories.
We had a lot of fun- games, dinner nights, family trips, pictures, jokes.
We've all been forced to move on, to suck it up and make the best of a crappy situation. And, so we do. But, I think of this often... how things were... in 2010.

Bethlehem

My friend, Tina spoke to me. Not in a creepy "I hear voices" sort of way, but she left me something, which I received nearly 3 months after she died. A couple weeks ago, Tina's mom (Lori) gave me this paper bag. My name is written clearly (in Tina's handwriting). I opened the bag and Lori explained that it is a nativity scene carved from wood in Bethlehem. Tina bought it for me in Bethlehem when she was there with her family. Lori said "it's just something small." But, to me, it's one of the hugest gifts anyone ever gave me. I sobbed.
Not sure if she purchased one for anyone else, and not sure why she'd get this for me. Maybe it's because of the faith we shared. We grew up in the same Christian school and Christian Reformed Church. We talked about our church lives on occasion, and have attended each other's churches recently. When you grow up "CRC" there are just things you understand about your fellow Christian/church member, and Tina and I were open to talk about God's plans and works around us.
...Tina was in Bethlehem, just a few weeks before she died... The place in which Jesus was born. The place in which continual forgiveness of sins originated. That is so amazing.
The nativity scene seems "Christmasy" at first, but really, why not be reminded throughout the year that God sent his son for everyone, to later die for our sins?
Lately I'm feeling a bit distressed. I try to be a good person, and I strive to stay positive in everything. But, life is tough. Sometimes I seem to wonder: if God is present to make our lives great, why does he allow such misery? Maybe I'm just letting the misery get to me. (side note- I looked up the definition of misery: "unhappy or very uncomfortable, depressed") Yep... that's me (not all the time, but sometimes.)
Tina was a wonderful Christian. You could see it in her smile. Positive... she was so positive. If everyone were like Tina, I swear the world would be nearly perfect... never on time, but happy. :)
I look upon this little wooden ornament and am not only reminded to thank God for sending Jesus to earth, but to also thank Him for sending Tina.
When I die, I hope people say half the nice things they had to say about Tina. Therefore, I shall not let the misery of life get the best of me. I will stay positive, non-judgemental, and over-all happy! I pray that also for anyone else struggling with the stresses of life.
Man, I miss Tina. I wish she were here to cheer me through my struggles and goals... and for so, so many other things.

Life is Good

I swore off blogging about an hour ago, but I find that these are the times I need it most. It's like a free therapy session (because trust me, therapy is kinda expensive, I've been there!) Life is a roller coaster, although, over all, my life has been good. My parents did get divorced. I lost one of my best friends. I did fall and break my wrist, and then badly sprain my ankle. There are some new stressors at my job. AND Nolan injured his poor little wrist. (We have a few medical bills to catch up on.) When you're in a down mood, there's lots of bad things that come to mind. I could go on and on. Mainly what I want to say today is, divorce sucks. All sides of it suck. Although, I really only know the "child of divorce" side. It causes such a huge strain on everyone. It doesn't matter who did what wrong, and who is doing what now. Emotions come and go and come again. But, my life IS good- because I have a wonderful Lord, an amazing husband, beautiful kids, and a support system. Just looking up, I realize I bought a metal decor item to put in my kitchen today. "Life is Good." Coincidence? Maybe, and what an appropriate reminder.

Mother's Day

I had my mom and family over for supper tonight to celebrate Mother's Day. There was this moment in the back yard this evening, in which we were playing yard games, all having a good time, and I thought "hmm, this is like a normal family." Then I realized that my mom's boyfriend and his daughter were hanging out with us, and my dad was not there, but was probably celebrating somewhere else with his live-in girlfriend. But, then again, what is a normal family? Ha.