I write my inmost thoughts here. Things I don't even talk about. My thoughts that no one else can control.
Some people are amazingly supportive. I love the emails that include bible verses and Christian words of encouragement and prayers.
Not many people in my life know what it's like for the concept of a Christian family to be seriously tested. You can't relate unless you've been there. I never imagined this happening to me, but, it could've happened to anyone. Satan is capable of these things. These experiences can be used for good or bad. I hope to see good in people... Prayers that God will work us all through this and spare relationships, words that can only help someone feel better, cards and flowers to keep piling up on my mom's table... No more judgement, negative upbringings, accusations and blame-games.
I've hurt some people through my words. But from now on I am resuming my positive spirit. My cup is half full. My smile tells people I'm a Christian. My calm manner with help me and others through this.
My mom is hurt, my dad is hurt. The two of them made this happen, the two of them can fix it. My prayer is for them to get help and try. You can't blame someone for trying.
I'm glad to see positive thoughts.. Let not your heart be troubled, you are trusting in God.. (Living Bible)
ReplyDeleteelissa,
ReplyDeleteI think contrary to what you said in this entry, there are many, many, Christian families that know exactly what it's like to be seriously tested....in the same way your family is being tested and in ways that I think might even be harder to handle. Those are the folks that will help you get through this by sharing their stories, and praying for your entire family. God has put people in your life for this very purpose.
It's in our very nature to not want to share the areas that we've been 'tested' in, and to now want to just lay it out there for everyone to see. I think that's why people can get so intrigued by a blog like yours. You're laying it out there and not many people do that.
I applaud you for keeping as upbeat of an attitude that you can. I know it's hard!
Your dads siblings, including me also hurt... I can't speak for everyone, but it is virtually impossible for me to understand how my brother, who grew up in the same house as I did, has not been convicted that what he's contemplating is just plain dead wrong.... It bothers me that he doesn't want to put any effort (at least as far as I can see) into restoring his marriage.
Everyone falls into sin, but when confronted with it, by God or other Christians, we simply have to make the decision to do what's right...and I don't see him doing that. I'm very disappointed in him at this point...
I can personally attest to the fact that God can restore a marriage that seems unfixable...but it takes a lot of effort. He can make it better than it ever was at any point!
I'm encouraged that your mom seems to be doing what she can do to make things better. I'm at a loss for words to try and figure out or explain that it doesn't seem like your dad is doing the same.
It's so chrystal clear (to me anyways) in the Bible what God desires for each of us who are married. He wants us that have taken the marriage vows to be happy, but even more so.... he wants each of us that have taken the marriage vows to stay married... That might be the most important part of being truly happy.
I'm so disappointed that I can't say to you that "at least your dad has done everything within his power to try and have a happy marriage with the one he made the vows to..."
I simply can't figure out why he won't.
I, (like you I think)....feel like there's absolutely nothing I can do to try and help him see the light....
I have also come to understand that we can't make adults do anything they don't want to do. That includes our adult children as well as our parents. We simply have to keep praying...and I don't want to minimize that because the prayers of God's people are powerful. We often say, "I feel all I can do is pray"... Well, that IS a lot....if we do it and keep doing it.
Now that I've vented a little....I just want to encourage you to stay focused on your marriage...and hand your dad and mom's marriage over to God. Let HIM be the one to worry about it. Contrary to what we think sometimes, God DOES know what he's doing.
I once had a wise person tell me that it's OK to be mad at God. HE can handle it. He's still going to love us! He sees the big picture and we don't.
Keep staying positive! I suspect someday you'll be helping friends/loved ones deal with this exact same scenario....
Keep the faith my dear niece!
Darwin