I miss my dad. A lot. I think it's been 2 months since I've really seen him. The thought of this makes the tears roll down my cheeks. It's my old dad that I miss- the caring, selfless, family man. I've always got along with my dad really well and understood and related to him. Until now. I cannot relate to his actions and choices. I understand that married couples grow apart and some even get divorced. But, it's not just the divorce decision, it's this lifestyle that I worry about.
He sent me to Christian school, took me to church, instilled these values into me. Now where are his values? They're in him somewhere, maybe (hopefully) only temporarily lost.
I will not let his influence have an effect on my family, and on that I stand firm. It may be harsh that I refuse to speak to my dad, but he's gone too far. Until he straightens out his life, he will not be a part of mine.
At least he is teaching me something through this. Priorities. I will learn through his mistakes. Yes, mistakes. Big mistakes.
Good arguments can be made to back up your decision to not speak to your dad...or to let him be a part of your life.... and good arguements can be made to keep those communication lines open. Both sides of the argument also could be backed up biblically I believe.
ReplyDeleteI hope you've prayed about this a great deal before making a huge decision like that.
Talk to Christian people who've had their parents go through this. These people will be able to give you some great advice I think...and they'll be able to honestly say to you, "I know how you feel". That alone is worth a whole lot!
Divorce is horrible and you obviously are feeling some of the 'tearing apart' symptoms that the Bible talks about. The bible may be talking about the union between the husband/wife, but you're part of that family, so you're going to feel some of that pain.
SO MANY people are affected by one person's choices, or actions. (both good & bad) Unfortunately the sins of the parent can affect (and sometimes are passed down) to 3 or 4 generations. All the more incentive for all of us to make good choices.... ALL the time....and to pray long and hard about tough decisions....
Hang in there!
You are not alone, and what you feel is normal (and "right", don't feel bad about what you feel!). You have my love and support. Next week we are getting a (new, working) hot tub. Want to come hang out for a weekend? We'll turn the temp down so you and baby can hang in there with us. LOVE YOU!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe emotions you are having are very raw, real, and o.k. You are entitled to all of them.. but.. on the other hand,..Have you ever thought that maybe now is the time that your dad needs to speak with you and keep contact with you, now, more than ever before. Now could be the time that he needs your influence in his life? For him to hear from you how much you love him and want him in your daughters life, to be an example to you and grandpa to Kyla. He misses talking to you too also. Somewhere in those values that he tought you were... that God is in control, even if it doesnt feel like it..God is the ultimate judge.(even though we like to judge) All this is not as easy for him as you may think. I have had more 'heart to heart' talks with him in the last two months than I have had in the last two years. (and those talks have been good) I urge you to rethink your contact with him... He wants to be a part of your life as well as your siblings.. He is an open book right now, If you have not spoken with him, I urge you to do so, bits and pieces of "hear-say" might be different than hearing it from your dad. Just remember, he will be your dad and Kyla's grandpa as long as you live! You can not find a fathers love anywhere else!
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