Our View From Up Here

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


My friend, Tina spoke to me. Not in a creepy "I hear voices" sort of way, but she left me something, which I received nearly 3 months after she died. A couple weeks ago, Tina's mom (Lori) gave me this paper bag. My name is written clearly (in Tina's handwriting). I opened the bag and Lori explained that it is a nativity scene carved from wood in Bethlehem. Tina bought it for me in Bethlehem when she was there with her family. Lori said "it's just something small." But, to me, it's one of the hugest gifts anyone ever gave me. I sobbed.
Not sure if she purchased one for anyone else, and not sure why she'd get this for me. Maybe it's because of the faith we shared. We grew up in the same Christian school and Christian Reformed Church. We talked about our church lives on occasion, and have attended each other's churches recently. When you grow up "CRC" there are just things you understand about your fellow Christian/church member, and Tina and I were open to talk about God's plans and works around us.
...Tina was in Bethlehem, just a few weeks before she died... The place in which Jesus was born. The place in which continual forgiveness of sins originated. That is so amazing.
The nativity scene seems "Christmasy" at first, but really, why not be reminded throughout the year that God sent his son for everyone, to later die for our sins?
Lately I'm feeling a bit distressed. I try to be a good person, and I strive to stay positive in everything. But, life is tough. Sometimes I seem to wonder: if God is present to make our lives great, why does he allow such misery? Maybe I'm just letting the misery get to me. (side note- I looked up the definition of misery: "unhappy or very uncomfortable, depressed") Yep... that's me (not all the time, but sometimes.)
Tina was a wonderful Christian. You could see it in her smile. Positive... she was so positive. If everyone were like Tina, I swear the world would be nearly perfect... never on time, but happy. :)
I look upon this little wooden ornament and am not only reminded to thank God for sending Jesus to earth, but to also thank Him for sending Tina.
When I die, I hope people say half the nice things they had to say about Tina. Therefore, I shall not let the misery of life get the best of me. I will stay positive, non-judgemental, and over-all happy! I pray that also for anyone else struggling with the stresses of life.
Man, I miss Tina. I wish she were here to cheer me through my struggles and goals... and for so, so many other things.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Life is Good

I swore off blogging about an hour ago, but I find that these are the times I need it most. It's like a free therapy session (because trust me, therapy is kinda expensive, I've been there!) Life is a roller coaster, although, over all, my life has been good. My parents did get divorced. I lost one of my best friends. I did fall and break my wrist, and then badly sprain my ankle. There are some new stressors at my job. AND Nolan injured his poor little wrist. (We have a few medical bills to catch up on.) When you're in a down mood, there's lots of bad things that come to mind. I could go on and on. Mainly what I want to say today is, divorce sucks. All sides of it suck. Although, I really only know the "child of divorce" side. It causes such a huge strain on everyone. It doesn't matter who did what wrong, and who is doing what now. Emotions come and go and come again. But, my life IS good- because I have a wonderful Lord, an amazing husband, beautiful kids, and a support system. Just looking up, I realize I bought a metal decor item to put in my kitchen today. "Life is Good." Coincidence? Maybe, and what an appropriate reminder.