God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
On Sunday evening, my dad walked out on my mom. He "hasn't been happy for a long time." "Nobody knows what it's been like." He says he's been wanting to leave for a long time.
I hate it. I can't stand not knowing what's going to happen. I can't stand not having any control.
My mom is a mess. She says she can't live alone. She thinks she's not strong enough to handle this (though, she is, she's an amazing Christian woman.) She wants my dad to come home.
I'm strong. That's what everyone keeps telling me. I'm giving it my all to hold everything together. I support my mom. I talk to my dad. I listen to my sister cry and swear. I try to read my brother. I keep my aunts and uncles informed (they are all so supportive!) I listen to ideas, I give advice, I pray. But I don't cry... much. It is so surreal.
I don't hate my dad. But I HATE what he is doing.
I want everything back to normal; if not for my mom, then for myself. Maybe it's selfish. I want to bring my children to Grandma AND Grandpa's house for holidays. I want my sister to enjoy a future wedding day to the fullest. I want my family to stay together, as a promise was made before God nearly 28 years ago.
There's more to the story, but I'll leave it at that for today.
Please pray for continued strength and peace for my mom. Please pray for my dad as he is confronted with the most important decision in his life. Please pray for patience for us kids. PLEASE pray for my family.
P.S. I believe God has put this song in my mom's life- It's definately her prayer right now. Just wanted to share.
We will absolutely be praying for your parents, you, your siblings, and all of your family. We are sending a huge hug to you!! I have a verse for you to remember. It is Isaiah 41:10
ReplyDelete"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Hope it brings some comfort and strength in a time when you probably feel like you don't have any. He is your strength. Thinking and praying for you!! The Hoflands
You may remember, though it seems so far away, that I was in your shoes nearly exactly 1 year ago. My dad was gone, my mom was a mess. Even as an adult, these are major, major things. I know what you are feeling, I honestly do. "Hold fast, help is on the way...hold fast, He's come to save the day." God is there. Always. All my love. It's going to be ok.
ReplyDeleteWill pray for you and your whole family!! Keep holding up... you're doing a great job so far!!!
ReplyDelete(And just because a 10yo is saying that doesn't mean it's not true:) Lots of Luv
We will pray. God is with you all. Remember that and lean on him. He will lead and guide you.
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